What to do when fear tries to beat you up (and what not to do)
I had the bright idea a few months ago that I was going to write a devotional about fear. Well, not about fear but about how I believe God’s love is the real antidote to fear. (I have some strong opinions about the ways we tend to approach this topic in church settings.)
And then a bunch of scary things happened.
My oldest daughter, age 18, was very sick in a foreign country and not recovering, and then was held up at gunpoint. My husband was given military orders to deploy to a place and assignment we really weren’t expecting. And then I began realizing all of the big things I would be managing this year on my own - like moving our oldest to college for the first time.
Just so you know, I never share vulnerably for sympathy but for the sake of authenticity. I don’t want you to think I’m over here in Hawaii sipping mai tai’s all perfectly relaxed all the time.
(OK, maybe I’m sipping mai tai’s sometimes.)
We all have situations that make us feel afraid. But “toughen up” is the last thing I think any of us should do. Fear is pretty humbling and I think humility is the correct posture to assume. Not that we are to bow to our circumstances but to the God who is actually handling all of our affairs in the background.
I don't buy into the concept of overcoming our fears by intention or force, because we are more likely to repress them into a big ball of anxiety. Not to mention, it stinks of self-empowerment. And I also don't think we need to get stuck in shame when we feel afraid. We all experience a healthy dose of fear when scary things happen to us.
We do get to choose how we respond to fear. We do get to choose if we will lose confidence because of what we see with our own eyes or if we will trust God’s sovereignty.
What do I do when fear tries to beat me up?
I pray through the day. I constantly lay the fear down over and over when it creeps up.
I express my fear to my husband or to safe friends. I choose authenticity and release the fear so I don't get stuck in it.
I double down on scripture and worship. I affirm the truth in my mind.
I find fun things to do. Fear wants to isolate me and make me feel alone. Instead, I snuggle with my kids. I go for a walk with a friend. I make plans to look forward to. We can be much more successful at filling our minds with good than at stopping fearful thoughts.
I will never know if God prompted me to start writing more about fear and anxiety because he knew that anxiety-provoking things were on the horizon and I would need what he pre-provided. Or if he thought it would be awesome for me to be a test dummy for this audience. “Look at me so afraid!!!” I kid.
It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know hard times and fear will come again, and that’s okay. I know that I can walk it out day-by-day in connection with God, and in community. He will not leave me in my fear.
(Also, I’m actually serious about the devotional. More details TBA :).)
Prompts for journaling or discussion…
What is causing you fear lately? What do you worry or overthink about? What keeps you up at night or causes you stress?
What do you tend to turn to for coping when you feel fear or worry? How does that work for you?
What could you do differently next time fear tries to overwhelm you?
Resources related to fear in the Dawn app…
* Affirmations: Rest and rely on God in Resources > Affirmation Series
* Audio meditation: Move from stress to trust in Audio > Meditations